Advanced Reading and Writing D2

1. The title is effective. If it had more description or more, it would be more interesting.

2. The introduction is effective. The thesis is clear.

3. In the second paragraph, the second sentence and the third sentence mention “a recent report” and “the author”, but I can’t find what the name of this report is and who the author is.

4. There is adequate information is this report, and I can understand this topic very easily.

5. This paper is well organized.

6. In the fourth paragraph, the second sentence mentions “the author” but I can’t know who the author is, either.

7. In the conclusion, there are too many details about genes. Maybe those detail can be put in the fourth paragraph and give some other further ideas as conclusion.

I like this paper because you write clear topic sentence in each paragraph that gives definition. Moreover, it has well organization for each paragraph. At the same time, this topic is really helpful for me to keep myself more healthy. Good Job.

Have a nice Sunday.